What's The Haps?

Of all things that could happen to me, I ran into a vampire at the mall, I couldn't comprehend all the things that were wrong with this picture let alone if I believe that vampires, werewolves, supernatural or the undead really exist, but for all purposes of curiousity, I had to ask her out for coffee, and have my little Ann Rice rendition of Interview with the Vampire. In all honestly if she really was a vampire, it is yet to be determined, I have my doubts, but proof that she was, was just as inert as to prove that she wasn't. I'm not being bias, I love the whole genre, but you really have to ask yourself if you can put this into context, has there been any case of the existance of vampires?  There has, maybe not the true to cinema, " Vampire " per-say but more likely the anomally of a human being with obscure individual traits. Needless to say she did accept my offer for a small brief interview but at this point, sex would of been out of the question, so the shit is totally inpromptu......

" Ok..... Do you want to drink coffee or would you like to go out for a couple of Bloody Marys? "

" (Sarcasticly) Haha, I haven't heard that one before "

" I Try, well my first question to you is, how is it that you classify yourself as a Vampire? "

" Being a vampire isn't some sort of creature distinctively different from a human being, if anything, its "classified" as an urban subculture, you know, like an occult. " 

" I know, but then why is it you label yourself a Vampire? What makes you different then a wanna-be poser to something in the movies? "

" Why is it that you label yourself an asian? "

" Im a Pacific Islander thank you very much, and um I'm the one asking all the questions here, Ok?

" Well then ask yourself this, should it be that a Vampire has to be everything that you see on TV? Isn't it possible by having just enough traits can be enough to label you a Vampire?

" Ok so what traits do you have that are similar to the characteristics of a Vampire? "

" Believe it or not, I do have the urge to drink of blood, not necessarily human, but blood never -the-less "

" So are you gonna bite me? "

" I Don't have the desire to."

" What you don't think i'm attractive?"

" I Didn't say you weren't, but just because I'm telling you who I am, doesn't mean I'm gonna seduce you into my bed, fuck your brains out, and finish you like little late night snack. Not yet at least at this point. "

" I'm more than a little snack, for the seduction all you really have to do is say hi, and its already instant seduction no effort needed there, doesnt have to be your bed, I have an air matress  with red silk bed sheets, mind the transformer pillows, and try not claw or sink your fangs into the matress and I think we'll be ok, as for you fucking my brains out, you kinda have to have brains first before you can you can fuck them out, but i'm more than willing to let you try... "

After saying all that I thought that, I thought for sure the interview was over, but little did I know it was only getting started....